The city has a catchy catchphrase, but obviously not that catchy, because only a week after leaving it, I can't remember what it was.
Anyhoots, while I wouldn't qualify Melbourne as either Marvellous or Magnificent, it is still quite a fun city.
To wit:
This is a large fish sculpture for no reason at all.
Notice the street sign?
The Dame is a Melburnian -- or a Melburgian -- or a Melbon. I don't really know. What is important in this picture is that Andrew had a rare fit of vanity when he saw it, and claimed that I made him look like Frankenstein, because I cut off his arms. Ha ha.
He had no problem with this one, though:
This is, obvs, ABBA World.
I don't know what goes on in there, or what its connection is with Melbeegians, because it was TWENTY FIVE dollars to get in, and I was not willing to shell out that kind of coin, even to spend an hour in the company of my beloved ABBA, or a few display cases of their outfits. I mean, I've seen Mamma Mia, the musical three times and Bjorn Again twice, but at least in those venues there is the possibility, however faint, that Bjorn and Benny are actually secretly in the audience, waiting to find their greatest fan and ask her, despite her huge lack of musical or dancing abilities, to join them in a reformed ABBA that will tour the world and take the music world by a STORM.
Moving along to Andy being eaten by a large monster:
Australia has the most dangerous/venomous/poisonous/stinging/man-eating things of anywhere else on earth. I'm not actually sure if that last sentence is true, but if you're reading this blog for anything remotely factual, you're in the wrong place. What I do know is that there are lots of things --including jelly fish! -- that can kill you here. The Melberites seem to want to celebrate this fact by having pretend animals leap out of their buildings and try to eat passerbys.
I enjoy this sculpture:
... because it reminded me of Brussels' peeing dog sculpture (which goes with the peeing boy and the uber creepy peeing girl sculptures that they have there).
Andy obviously took this picture:
It is significant because he captured the moment where I tried to shift my purse from my bum shoulder to my left, but I got quite muddled about how to do it, and instead ended up putting the purse around my entire body where it slid down my body in the middle of a busy Melbatian intersection. Yes, I lasso'd myself like a calf at the Calgary Stampede. I acknowledge that this was not my most shining moment.
What was worse, though is that instead of choosing to help his injured and be-muddled wife, Andrew dug around in his pockets, located the camera, withdrew it, aimed and took this photo. Wanker.
This photo, is quite crappy and uninteresting until you know that this is literally the first time that Violet has every voluntarily put food in her mouth. That's right, the child was almost 10 months old before she realised that she could bring something to her mouth (such as food) in order to feed herself.
Revel in the moment, people... We certainly did. We probabably took 12 photos of Violet desperately trying to stuff Turkish flat bread into her mouth at this Melburtian restaurant... Mostly she missed.
The idea that a child of mine was not good at eating, has certainly been perplexing. When she had her 9 month check up with the doctor I told him about how she never, ever, ever put ANYTHING in her mouth. He looked at me quizzically, questioned me closely and then declared that it was "One of the weirdest things I'd ever heard." That sentence isn't exactly comforting for a first time mother to hear. Oh well, Violet is weird no longer, because in true Tector-form (sorry Horralls, eating a lot and yell-talking are two places where the Tector genes will triumph) the kid can eat now.
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