Cologne, Germany

Andrew and I had never been to Germany so when Paul visited over the weekend he kindly included us in his two hour road trip to Cologne. We got there via the autobahn, which is not nearly as terrifying as one would think. Sure there are no speed limits, and sure we were going 160 at one point, but because everyone else is zipping along at those speeds, it doesn't really feel as insane as it sounds.

Cologne is the birthplace of "eau de cologne" -- who knew! I thought for sure that France would have sewn that one up, what with 1. It being all French-soundy and 2. The French being more renowned for their perfumes than the Germans, who are renowned for, well, other things.

Anyhoots, we hit the town for the day so that Paul could go to a fabulous pastry shop (I had a Berliner of JFK fame), show us the sights and go to a really good beer hall for lunch. While the servers weren't wearing lederhosen (sigh) later that day we DID see some guys setting up for the Christmas market who seemed to be wearing those little leather pants in unironic, non-tourist oriented fashion, which was great.


So, Cologne is a fascinating city, a former Roman outpost, then a big medieval hub. There is an amazing cathedral (biggest in Germany), a very cool Roman museum, fantastic shopping, guys in lederhosen, the whole bit. Which is why, when we returned from Cologne and looked at my photos of the day I had to reevaluate my self-perception as a sensitive and worldly woman who appreciates art, architecture and different cultures. I was shocked to discover that I had only taken three photos. One of them was this one:


Which, while admittedly is a fantastic, giant King Kong, might not exactly capture the grace and grandeur of Cologne. Especially because we saw two other giant gorillas for sale in OTHER shops, so it's not even the only one.

Although I guess the gorilla does raise interesting questions about the Cologne mindset. I mean, what does it say about the people of a city that they must have more than one place to satisfy their need to purchase giant King Kong statues?


So, maybe I can justify the above photo, but I don't think I can make any defense about the fact that my two remaining photos are of this:


That's right, a life-sized replica of David, except coloured in! Because, you know, nothing spells ART more than "improving" on a work by Michelangelo, and colouring stuff in is ALWAYS the smart way to go.

Then I had to take this to make sure the proportions of the statue are clear. Strangely, both Andy and Paul refused to stand in the photo, so this stranger had to do:



If you look BEHIND, the enormous pink (and blonde) David, you can see the magnificent and historic Cologne cathedral, but that's obviously not my focus.

If I'm going to continue to live in Europe and visit these amazing cities, I'm going to have to learn how to be a better tourist (or leave my camera at home) because I'm obviously a Philistine.